I've been living a Facebook lie. I haven't actually been on Facebook in ages. I just post to the blog, which posts to my Twitter feed, which posts to Facebook. Or something like that.
It's not that I don't love you. I just hate Facebook, on so many levels. The arrogance about privacy, the endless data-mining apps, the huge amount of time it sucks out of my life.And I'm on Twitter and LinkedIn all day every day at work.
But so many of you have expressed so much support, I feel like an ass not acknowledging. A heel. So, I hope you'll accept this as a peace offering. I'm sorting through my Facebook notifications folder and replying as I can.
Gail, my BFF: Yes, I would love to rock the lycra Spiderman onesy. However, Spiderman didn't tell me where I could get one. Anyone who has an idea, please let me know.
Terry: Yes, Paolo is my official spokesperson. And also my financial advisor. No one's heard of me and I have no money. Draw your own conclusions.
Paolo: See above.
Lisa: I don't have the abs for Pilates. What kind of sadist came up with that? And chocolate is the best sponsorship. And the best defibrilator.
Jennefer: Pray harder. Please.
Cindy: They don't have to tear the jersey to use the defibrilator. I've had jumper plates installed on my nipples.
Michelle: You make breathing underwater sound so easy. I am not Aquaman. I can't even find a Spiderman onesy.
Quigs: You up for the 10k at the zoo in October? I'm still trying to decide whether to register. Early bird deadline is June 30.
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I dig your perpetual Internet motion machine vibe... just so you know, I only "friended" you because you looked so lonely. And there was some name recognition thing going on. If I'm right, I think we worked together at "Plesman" for a few weeks, you were the short one with the nice boobs.
ReplyDeleteYep, Gabe, that was me. I think of myself as "petite" rather than short, but thanks for noticing my boobs. I always thought my butt was my best feature.
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