About goggles

I'm blind as a bat. At least bats have echo-location. I have ringing in my ears.

Okay, not entirely blind. Just in need of powerful, and usually expensive, corrective lenses. When I started considering a triathlon, I figured I was probably in for big-ticket prescription goggles, lest I lose my way and continue swimming out to sea, never to be heard from again.

I happened to be in a Wal-Mart with an optical department, wherein I found prescription goggles for ... $39.99. Just bring in your prescription, and in two weeks, you got swimming goggles.

I picked up my prescription from my last pair of glasses and tried to drop them at another Wal-Mart.

"I can't fill this," says the woman at the optical counter. "The prescription's three years old."

These are the kind of circumstances under which I normally throwing a shrieking fit. These were SWIMMING GOGGLES. They could only match them to a diopter to begin with. I was not going to be driving or performing heart surgery with them on. If I want a pair of swim goggles that make my eyes look five times their natural size, and I'm willing to give you money for it, then make my expletive-deleted goggles already. It's not that you can't; it's that you won't. You want to force me to take a $50 eye exam FOR A PAIR OF SWIM GOGGLES.

I did not shriek, hurl profanities or insults, or make any manner of scene. I snatched my prescription back. "Fine," I hissed evenly (can you hiss evenly?). "I'll order them on the Internet."

Which I did. A little place in Kitchener, Ont., called Aqua Goggles, will take your prescription online, and, for $24 plus shipping, send you a pair of swim goggles. (Aqua Goggles also does competition-quality non-prescription goggles for $5. Run, do not walk, to the Web site and order today.)

It went something like this: At 6 p.m. last Friday, I placed my order. A couple minutes later, I got an order confirmation by e-mail. Shortly thereafter, I received an e-mail saying my goggles would ship within one business day.

One business day later -- on Monday -- I received an e-mail saying my goggles had shipped. Two days later, they were in my mailbox. And they are of awesome quality. Matched to half a diopter. I actually could probably drive wearing them, in a pinch.

I'm just sayin' ... if you need goggles, prescription or no, you can't do better than these people. Fast, quality service. And they're local (to me, anyway).

Today's a rest day. My quads have been saying "Oy" all day. Gotta work up to this workout thing.